Next 5-Week Course Starts Saturdays November 6 to December 4, 2021 @ 10am
Debra Ann has been a champion of Collaborative Problem-Solving in her home, work and community since 2005 and is considered a thought leader and change-maker in her profession. Currently she is working to change the understanding of "behavioral goals" in an IEP, 504 or for any child who is being put out of class chronically, is a frequent-flyer to detention, suspension, or facing expulsion. Change comes when adults understand that challenging children with concerning behaviors are NOT "attention seeking" and that compliance to expectations is about "skill, not will."
Not only did our own child struggle with staying regulated through the many demands of the day during his elementary school days, I was that child too so I could relate. Everything, everyone was telling us to do to help our son meet the demands being placed on him daily, was not working. This left us to spend countless hours researching on our own to find evidence-based approaches that would work. We had to do something different!" After stumbling on and reading "Treating Explosive Kids - The Collaborative Problem-Solving Approach" by Ross W. Greene & J. Stuart Ablon, we finally hit the jackpot! I also read "The Explosive Child" 2003 published version.
Subsequently, I started going to conferences with Dr. Ross Greene & Dr. Stuart Ablon in 2005 in Boston and our family stopped struggling through concerning challenging behavioral episodes and started building his skills for regulation (big emotions), flexibility, and impulsivity.
Rethinking the conventional approach of using rewards, consequences and ignoring to behavioral difficulties, we were able to realize our son did not need to be "motivated" to behave well, he was VERY motivated, he lacked the skill, not the will to comply with expectations. We were able to help him build the skills he needed to address his low frustration tolerance, high IQ, impulsivity, cognitive inflexibility, and executive function challenges.
On-going trainings with professionals like Dr. Bruce Perry, Dr. Carol Dweck, Dr. Tina Payne Bryson, Sara Ward, Michele Garcia-Winner, and more gave me a fuller understanding of how neuroscience has changed its perspective on the workings of the brain and how to build skills w/o control, rewards, consequences or ignoring undesired behaviors.
Once we had the realization that rewards, consequences and ignoring were NEVER MEANT TO TEACH complex thinking skills and brought this understanding into our home, the concerning behaviors would only occur after a school day full of conventional approaches trying to "help" him "want" to meet the demands being placed on him throughout the school day. We were frustrated with the lack of understanding within the school system to look at "behaviors" in similar ways as academic struggles are looked at:
For example, as if any child would intentionally not comprehend what they read, or be able to decode words or math fluency. Can you imagine telling a child "you better learn how to comprehend what you read or you will loose recess???" Rewards & consequences were never meant to teaching reading comprehension, math fluency, decoding, help with dyslexia, etc.
Working in increments everyone could handle with behavioral concerning behaviors was seen as making excuses for his "bad" behavior and poor parenting from the school systems lens.
Yes, in the world of behaviors we kept running into accusations of poor parenting, lack of motivation, attention seeking behaviors or trying to get out of doing something. Conventional approaches are flat out wrong when it comes to this population!
All children want to do well, some have a hard time with behaviors in five skill areas:
Kids, neither mine nor yours, should continue to be misunderstood because of their behavioral challenges. Challenging and concerning behaviors are NOT a reflection of one’s parenting or teaching abilities. They are an example of lagging skills in the above 5 basic domains, and it is time to write behavioral goals that are truly-trauma informed and skill building into IEP's and 504's to reflect an approach that teaches needed coping skills and builds skills by:
If you would like to get started with Parent Coaching for IEP/504 CPS Behavioral goals,
download Agreement Form and Pay Below